crummyvision: This is a picture of me, and I believe this was taken at a restaurant. (Default)
No, this is not about the hair club or even the hare club. This is about what I call the Bro Club. Not so easy to define this, but I guess it's this romanticized idea in society that a man is supposed to view other men as his kin or his brothers merely because they are other males. Apparently males and females are supposed to be pitted against each other across some invisible line. It's like what, are we all ten years old again, between the time of not caring who to play with even if they're girls or noticing all too well that girls exist. It's that "ewww, girls are yucky and disgusting" phase. I really think I grew out of that and I'd rather not look back. Yes, as a person I enjoy being liked but I think far as I can remember at some point I cared more about if girls liked me and didn't much care if the guys liked me because, since virtually all of my free time was spent alone at home, I had my own tastes and interests which didn't mesh into necessarily what guys were supposed to be and do. I was and am a nerd. So part of the consequences of this is for years I've had many more female friends than male ones, and although I feel there's a vague pressure for me to either strike some kind of balance or leave the gals alone and go find a pack of dudes to pal around with, I really wouldn't have it any other way. I know if I'm in a group of people I talk easier to the women than the men unless the guys tend to be as nerdy and goofy as I am. There are lots of nice guys in the world, yes, but these nice guys can tend to be pretty dull in the personality department and their smalltalk is boring. If I were ever to be thrown into some kind of all-male environment, I'd most likely stay very quiet and withdraw into myself because I know I'd be a fish out of water. No, I don't pretend to have a greater understanding about women or whatever, but I feel I can talk to them as human beings and I like their company as friends and allies. Plus, and I don't want to seem as if I'm winging or playing the victim, but in my school days, those who chose to annoy me for their own entertainment were usually boys, which did not improve my opinion of them much. Yes, there were a few girls who would also act that way, but the worst thing the girls did was to just ignore me completely as far as I could tell.
I think one other thing I can't stand is when people will purposely, even if it's all in good fun, pit males against females. All the men will take one side of a silly argument merely for the sake of solidarity and the women will all take the other side. I'd rather just take the side I actually agreed with and not take a side just because all the other guys said they agreed with it for the sake of appearances. What did I just say, we're not ten years old anymore. I don't think women are annoying or incomprehensible, nor do I assume all of them are volatile. My wife isn't a volatile person. My ex-girlfriend was when I knew her and whether she still is or isn't I don't know since I am not in contact with her anymore. So, even though I may be generalizing to a point here there are always exceptions to the rule. And too, maybe this is only an issue in my mind and at this point people don't care much anymore. I know people used to. If you were a guy and you had lots of female friends, the old stereotype is that you're either gay or what people call a player. I don't think I'm either of those things, and what others think doesn't mean much of anything especially if they don't know or like me now does it?
So, I know this one was a bit of a rambler, and I don't apologize for that like I'm supposed to, but I hope my point makes sense.
crummyvision: This is a picture of me, and I believe this was taken at a restaurant. (Default)
I suppose this is the best place to write this, rather than on Facebook or even on my e-mail list. I fear my rather realistic attitude might be interpretted as devaluing other people's feelings or experiences and I really do not intend to play that even if it's read as that.
So on my e-mail list there's been some discussion about aging. Many people somehow seem to be against it or want to play certain psychological games, even if they're joking, to still appear as if they're young. Others wish to go back in time and do things over and make things supposedly better. Not me. Nope, I'm 48 years old and I think that's great. You know why? Because aging happens to all of us, it is built into the hardware and software. I accept it as natural instead of putting energies towards self-deception or deceiving others to think I'm something I'm not. You know what else? This is going to be a shocker, but it has to be said. One day, one unknown and undetermined day, I'm going to die. My hardware and software are going to shut down. You know what else? It's going to be a double shocker this time. So will you, and so will everybody, even famous people. It is not sad, it is the nature of things.
So, let's go back to something I eluded to earlier. Wishing to go back and make things better in my mind. The first thing that really gets in the way of these fantasies is the belief I ahve that wishing does not make things so, so here's your third shocker for this post. I don't wish for much. I do not wish my past was better, and it wasn't necessarily a happy past. I don't wish I was somebody else. I don't even wish I was TV's idea of perfect. Man, what an empty aimless life I must lead without spending most of it wishing that everything wasn't what it was, eh? Nope, I'm quite happy and content to not go around wishing my life away despite any regrets I have. Another thought came to me this morning as I was musing over this. If I were able to go back and change my past, I would have never met any of the friends or my wife or any of the other people I love and appreciate now. In fact, I could have met other people and who knows what good or ill might happen. Many times, our fantasies are better left unexamined because one should be careful what they wish for. You might not get the ideal outcome you think you will get. So I'd really rather just enjoy the moment, the present, even if I culturally live way in the deep dark past, instead of bemoaning what's wrong with everything and why I and everyone else and everything else aren't perfect.
crummyvision: This is a picture of me, and I believe this was taken at a restaurant. (Default)
Now, I forget whether these ads are on radio or TV, but they're for this new Five Hour Energy concoction, and their claim is this stuff is either better than or an alternative to coffee. I know my readers are mixed on the coffee thing as to whether they love it or loathe it, but here's one thing I think can be pointed out in coffee's favor. Coffee is not just about the caffeine, it's a social drink, same as tea or even hot chocolate can be or some cold drinks. You can't really have much socialization with the five hour energy thing because it comes in this tiny bottle. A couple of sips and you're done, bottle is tossed and on you go with whatever you're doing. That sort of thing is a more solitary pursuit, something to gulp down at the desk or whilst in transit. You can't really socialize with such a brief experience, but with coffee or tea or a Coke or an alcoholic beverage, that seems more social I guess because there's more of it in the serving. I may be wrong but this is how I see it.

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