crummyvision: This is a picture of me, and I believe this was taken at a restaurant. (Default)
I suppose this is the best place to write this, rather than on Facebook or even on my e-mail list. I fear my rather realistic attitude might be interpretted as devaluing other people's feelings or experiences and I really do not intend to play that even if it's read as that.
So on my e-mail list there's been some discussion about aging. Many people somehow seem to be against it or want to play certain psychological games, even if they're joking, to still appear as if they're young. Others wish to go back in time and do things over and make things supposedly better. Not me. Nope, I'm 48 years old and I think that's great. You know why? Because aging happens to all of us, it is built into the hardware and software. I accept it as natural instead of putting energies towards self-deception or deceiving others to think I'm something I'm not. You know what else? This is going to be a shocker, but it has to be said. One day, one unknown and undetermined day, I'm going to die. My hardware and software are going to shut down. You know what else? It's going to be a double shocker this time. So will you, and so will everybody, even famous people. It is not sad, it is the nature of things.
So, let's go back to something I eluded to earlier. Wishing to go back and make things better in my mind. The first thing that really gets in the way of these fantasies is the belief I ahve that wishing does not make things so, so here's your third shocker for this post. I don't wish for much. I do not wish my past was better, and it wasn't necessarily a happy past. I don't wish I was somebody else. I don't even wish I was TV's idea of perfect. Man, what an empty aimless life I must lead without spending most of it wishing that everything wasn't what it was, eh? Nope, I'm quite happy and content to not go around wishing my life away despite any regrets I have. Another thought came to me this morning as I was musing over this. If I were able to go back and change my past, I would have never met any of the friends or my wife or any of the other people I love and appreciate now. In fact, I could have met other people and who knows what good or ill might happen. Many times, our fantasies are better left unexamined because one should be careful what they wish for. You might not get the ideal outcome you think you will get. So I'd really rather just enjoy the moment, the present, even if I culturally live way in the deep dark past, instead of bemoaning what's wrong with everything and why I and everyone else and everything else aren't perfect.

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crummyvision: This is a picture of me, and I believe this was taken at a restaurant. (Default)
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