an inspirational story, well, maybe

Legend has it that the Old Man of the Mountain has rare and secret wisdom that is worthy of all the people of the world to hear. The problem is, and of course this is according to legends, that he's hard to get to, what with him being a hermit and wanting to be all isolated and everything. So, your humble host went on an arguous and trying quest in order to fetch such wisdom and bring it to you, the naive, the ignorant, and yes, even the gullible who will surely shower me with great praise and take me out for fancy coffee drinkies and imported chocolates.
So, on the quest I went. I climbed the city walls, although why I lived in a walled city even eludes me. I ran through the damn fields, until I slipped and fell into something, um, yuck, let's not talk about that, please. After freezing myself in a pond trying to wash the yuck off, I soon found the great foreboding mountain, which of course, I climbed, because what do you do with a mountain but climb it, yes, if not go around it or fly over it? Well, I climbed, and soon I came upon the cave where I knew the Old Man of the Mountain dwelled, wait, is it dwelled or dwelt. Oh, heck with it, the old guy lived there! Right, so in I went and I found him and asked him if I would please have a bit of his wisdom. He looked at me, he rose up on one elbow, he propped himself up, looked at me again, and he said this.
"Dag nabbit! You damn city slickers better git off'n my land before I shoot your ass full o' lead! Now git!"
And yeah, I got. And there is the great wisdom from the Old Man of the Mountain.