How To Really Offend a Blind Person
Apr. 14th, 2017 04:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crummyvisionThere seems to be a lot of fear and anxiety amongst the public about how exactly to approach us and interact with us. Many people are paralyzed into inaction out of fear of offending us. This guide will hopefully give you a good idea of what actually offends blind people, at least from one blind person's point of view. So, here is the list in no particular order.
1. Please assume that if we're walking upright, we need help and desire it from you. Disregard the context of the situation or the blind person's actual needs because the blind person's sole existence is to make you feel good about yourself.
2. When helping a blind person, please make sure to act first, never ask if they need help. You mean well and are only trying to be nice. This matters above all else.
3. Exclude blind people from everything because they're blind. This means, don't hire them, don't date or marry them, don't ever make friends with them, don't invite them to your parties or other social events, etc.
4. Remember that a blind person's word has no credibility because they are blind. You are sighted, you always know better because you say so.
5. If a blind person even politely refuses your help when offered according to item 2, get extremely offended and accuse them of being ungrateful even though they never actually asked for or wanted your help. You can see, this means you are always right.
6. Please continue to believe that all blind people are alike. You've seen one, you've seen them all. In fact, they are so alike that they have the same needs in life, interests, beliefs, etc. For example, Sally is blind, votes Republican, likes Starbucks coffee and attends the Baptist church every Sunday and is a huge Stevie Wonder fan. You meet Bob, Allyssa, Katherine and Steve, so because they are blind, assume they also vote Republican, like Starbucks, attend the Baptist church and just love Stevie Wonder. If they tell you differently they are lying.
7. Assume blind people are basically magic aliens. This means they have powers and abilities unknown to mere mortals like yourself, and any biological function is done in a mysterious and alien way which they will be happy to tell you about in detail if you ask.
8. Continue to believe that blind people are housed in institutions, so when they are out, especially in a group, congratulate their assumed sighted keepers for letting them out in the real world for the day.
9. Do remember that blind people feel only two emotions. Unending depression over not being able to see, and gratefulness for any stranger merely speaking to them, even if that might be unsolicitted life advice, offers of religious healing, or platitudes about how amazing and inspirational they are for walking upright out in public and everything.
10. Continue to believe in a mysterious and shadowy organization commonly known as They who do things like, control and monitor the whereabouts and lives of blind people, provide miracle cures, provide assorted attendants and caregivers so you don't have to actually interact with the scary misshapen freaks, etc.
11. If you see a couple with a blind and a sighted person, congratulate the sighted person for being saintly enough to take care of and otherwise tollerate the blind person. Assume the relationship is otherwise completely devoid of all love and romance.
12. Assume any sighted person with the blind person, if not a lover as caretaker, is a nurse or a long-suffering family member. Blind people don't have friends and don't need them.
13. Blind people love talking about blindness and know everything about it and also they know all other blind people, due to the afore-mentioned alien superpowers. Outside of that they are completely ignorant of pop culture as normal people understand it.
14. You can say or do anything to a blind person as long as you mean well. They will magically understand this. Make sure to disregard all the manners your Mama taught you when in their presence, because it's not like they're real people like you and your friends are, so speak to them and manhandle them and pull them around like you're moving a floor lamp. They love this.
15. When speaking to a blind person, assuming you're brave and moral enough to do so, speak loudly because they can't see. If you don't see the logic in it, you don't get it and are not cool enough.
16. Assume blind people have a reserve of sighted people they can take with them to any appointments where paperwork is to be filled out so you don't have to bother. There just has to be somebody who'll help them with that stuff, right, I mean, there just has to!
17. You can ask a blind person literally anything, no matter how personal it might be, including things like how they find their mouth when they eat, how they know when they're done wiping after taking a restroom break, and how they can possibly have sex if they can't see. No topic is off limits and no social filter is needed. Blind people will be glad to answer you because they're just so grateful you're actually speaking to them.
18. Continue to believe that the imaginary blind version of yourself you dreamed up in a second and a real blind person are identical and experience the same things.
19. Assume blind people are somehow more innocent than normal folks, because somehow you can magically make the two qualities relate. This means they don't drink, engage in intimate activities, etc, which is another reason you see them as aliens.
20. Avoid using words like look, watch, or see around them because this will remind them they are blind and they don't like that, according to you. Also, avoid using the word blind around them because you have such a hard time dealing with the concept.
There's a lot more, I'm quite sure there's much more, but I think after 20 points you're hopefully getting the general theme here. Now, go forth and please, try not to do any of this stuff if you can help it.
1. Please assume that if we're walking upright, we need help and desire it from you. Disregard the context of the situation or the blind person's actual needs because the blind person's sole existence is to make you feel good about yourself.
2. When helping a blind person, please make sure to act first, never ask if they need help. You mean well and are only trying to be nice. This matters above all else.
3. Exclude blind people from everything because they're blind. This means, don't hire them, don't date or marry them, don't ever make friends with them, don't invite them to your parties or other social events, etc.
4. Remember that a blind person's word has no credibility because they are blind. You are sighted, you always know better because you say so.
5. If a blind person even politely refuses your help when offered according to item 2, get extremely offended and accuse them of being ungrateful even though they never actually asked for or wanted your help. You can see, this means you are always right.
6. Please continue to believe that all blind people are alike. You've seen one, you've seen them all. In fact, they are so alike that they have the same needs in life, interests, beliefs, etc. For example, Sally is blind, votes Republican, likes Starbucks coffee and attends the Baptist church every Sunday and is a huge Stevie Wonder fan. You meet Bob, Allyssa, Katherine and Steve, so because they are blind, assume they also vote Republican, like Starbucks, attend the Baptist church and just love Stevie Wonder. If they tell you differently they are lying.
7. Assume blind people are basically magic aliens. This means they have powers and abilities unknown to mere mortals like yourself, and any biological function is done in a mysterious and alien way which they will be happy to tell you about in detail if you ask.
8. Continue to believe that blind people are housed in institutions, so when they are out, especially in a group, congratulate their assumed sighted keepers for letting them out in the real world for the day.
9. Do remember that blind people feel only two emotions. Unending depression over not being able to see, and gratefulness for any stranger merely speaking to them, even if that might be unsolicitted life advice, offers of religious healing, or platitudes about how amazing and inspirational they are for walking upright out in public and everything.
10. Continue to believe in a mysterious and shadowy organization commonly known as They who do things like, control and monitor the whereabouts and lives of blind people, provide miracle cures, provide assorted attendants and caregivers so you don't have to actually interact with the scary misshapen freaks, etc.
11. If you see a couple with a blind and a sighted person, congratulate the sighted person for being saintly enough to take care of and otherwise tollerate the blind person. Assume the relationship is otherwise completely devoid of all love and romance.
12. Assume any sighted person with the blind person, if not a lover as caretaker, is a nurse or a long-suffering family member. Blind people don't have friends and don't need them.
13. Blind people love talking about blindness and know everything about it and also they know all other blind people, due to the afore-mentioned alien superpowers. Outside of that they are completely ignorant of pop culture as normal people understand it.
14. You can say or do anything to a blind person as long as you mean well. They will magically understand this. Make sure to disregard all the manners your Mama taught you when in their presence, because it's not like they're real people like you and your friends are, so speak to them and manhandle them and pull them around like you're moving a floor lamp. They love this.
15. When speaking to a blind person, assuming you're brave and moral enough to do so, speak loudly because they can't see. If you don't see the logic in it, you don't get it and are not cool enough.
16. Assume blind people have a reserve of sighted people they can take with them to any appointments where paperwork is to be filled out so you don't have to bother. There just has to be somebody who'll help them with that stuff, right, I mean, there just has to!
17. You can ask a blind person literally anything, no matter how personal it might be, including things like how they find their mouth when they eat, how they know when they're done wiping after taking a restroom break, and how they can possibly have sex if they can't see. No topic is off limits and no social filter is needed. Blind people will be glad to answer you because they're just so grateful you're actually speaking to them.
18. Continue to believe that the imaginary blind version of yourself you dreamed up in a second and a real blind person are identical and experience the same things.
19. Assume blind people are somehow more innocent than normal folks, because somehow you can magically make the two qualities relate. This means they don't drink, engage in intimate activities, etc, which is another reason you see them as aliens.
20. Avoid using words like look, watch, or see around them because this will remind them they are blind and they don't like that, according to you. Also, avoid using the word blind around them because you have such a hard time dealing with the concept.
There's a lot more, I'm quite sure there's much more, but I think after 20 points you're hopefully getting the general theme here. Now, go forth and please, try not to do any of this stuff if you can help it.
